You better run through the Jungle.

Too good to be true....

Hello Hello,

Where did we leave off? Ah yes, the Jungle trek through northern Thailand. One word to sum it up...UNFORGETABLE. The group and I met up with the tour early in the morning and met our tour guide, Wat. We piled into the back of a pick up and headed to the Thai Tourism Board. This is where we dropped off copies of our passports and we´re told they would go on file "just in case." Just in case what? I get lost in the Thai jungle? Go overboard on a raft? Get trampled by an elephant? The answer was "yes" to all the above.....

Let me explain a bit about this trek. We signed up for a 3 day, 2 night trek through the jungle with promises of hill tribes, home cooked meals, a bit of "light" trekking everyday, elephant riding, and white water rafting. Some of that was true. They did not mention a near death experience by cobra, possible loss of property, or memories of a lifetime.

So back to the pickup, after our little stop for "insurance purposes" our next stop was an orchid farm. Pretty neat stuff, I learned you can grow orchids without soil and in glass jars. Granny, this stop made me think of you A LOT. You would have loved it, HUGE greenhouses and what felt like a maze of flowers all around. Our second stop on the trip was the location of one the scariest moments of my life. We stopped at a Snake Farm. What the hell right???? Never once did I read anything about a snake farm on the itinerary for this thing.

NOTE: Im not a very big fan of snakes to begin with, a trait Im pretty sure I inherited from my dad.

We first walked through the farm and it wasn't all that bad, kinda felt sorry for the snakes to be honest. Their cages were just empty concrete slabs with chicken wire fences around it. One neat thing we saw was a Python eating a chicken though....pretty cool. But the worst was yet to come. Over a loud speaker came, " please come in side for the snake show." I shoulda known better....We all pile into the stage area and there are rows of bench seats up one side and a small little circular stage down in front. Not contained mind you, just open. There are 3 crates along one side and a big cloth bag next to them, little ominous. The whole group sits up at the top row of benches and me being the dumbass, I mean brave one, took a seat at the bottom right infront. The first snake handler pulls out two poisonous cobras.Yes, the cool looking snakes with a big neck that puffs out when theyre pissed off. The guy starts playing with them, and when I say playing I mean pushig them around, pissing them off, and then somehow manages to get close enough to touch their head with his fingers and even KISSES them. WHAT THE HELL???? Just for good measure, so we dont think this is all a joke, he grabs one snake and has it bite a plastic sealed cup and has its venom pour into it to show that they havent devenomized it.( I'm not sure if thats a word, but it should be.) This whole time Im sitting 4 feet from these things while they sliter around, totally in range to bite me if they just turned they attention from the handler to me. Next, the handler starts bringing the snake, holding it by its head, through the crowd. SUPPOSDLY it is considered lucky to touch a cobras head. This is when half the girls bolted out of the arena, James( who moved up in my books) touched the snake, and my heart started to race( I passed on touching it, See last post.) Of course since I passed on touching the back of the snake this little Thai man thought for some damn reason I would want a closer look...a much closer look.

NOT my idea of a vacation

Yes, that is me doing everything I physically can to keep this little Thai man from sticking a cobra into my crotch. Easily, one of the scariest times of my life, my heart rate has never sky rocketed SO fast before. After what felt like hours, the torture ceased and the show continued. In all honesty the rest of the show was a blur, images of Ratsnakes, jumping snakes, and pythons come up, but nothing solid. However, the finale was unforgettable. The bag next to the crates was opened up and out came a giant python. They just let it slither around freely and it headed straight for the pool of water adjacent to the stage. The entire time we all thought this little pool was only a foot deep, if that, but when the python trainer dove head first into the tank( WITH THE SNAKE) we were all in awe. A few moments later he surfaced with the snake "tightly" wrapped around his neck. Obviously a little dramatized for the show, but still quite entertaining.

After the show it was back in the pick up and onto a village of the long-neck tribe. Not really my thing, so I walked around a bit, then found an awesome hammok to laze about it. One solid piece of bamboo....crazy right?

After the village we were back on the road and headed up into the mountains to finally start our trek. We started out for our light 3 hour trek of the day and it was HOT. Soaked in sweat within minutes, but hiking through AMAZING surroundings. We headed up and over streams, past elephants, and through more of a "bush" area, thats what Wat called it, enroute to the halfway point. From there we started getting into thicker jungle. Banana trees, huge ferns, you name it. We were told from here on out it was going to be slightly uphill. Im not an expert at Thai to English translations, but Im quite sure "slightly" doesn´t mean straight up a muddy slope that could easily double as a waterslide. As difficult as the hike up was the views and final destination for the night was more than worth it.

 



 



Never enough jungle shots.

Our accomodaton for the night was WICKED. It was a bamboo longhouse with a great balcony overlooking the mountains. We all showered up, had a few WELL deserved beers, this was the spot of the lost "memorable beer" #1, and settled down for the most delicous meal ever. No power in the house, so the mood was set with candles for a one of a kind game of "I Have Never." I feel it's safe to say we all learned many unexpected things about eachother that night. Details need not be discussed.



If you dont ask, I wont have to lie, I mean tell.



I actually woke up quite early and for the first time on this trip I was cold. I kinda liked it haha. I was soon sweating though once I stepped outside and into the sun. The views were incredible. The sky was so cloudy that at first you couldn't see more than 20 feet from the porch, but as the sun rose and clouds parted tiny peaks of jungle covered hills popped up. One of the best mornings I've had. Unfortunately, the stunning pictures I had were lost...again I'll get to that later.

After a bit everyone got up, we ate a really tasty breakfast. I'm starting to find an addiction to Nescafe 3 in 1 instant coffee packets, better than Starbucks i swear. We headed out on our second day of hiking. The day was filled with plant bubbles, backfiring slingshots, wild chilis( with random leaves to stop the burning, some of us had it worth than others...you know how it feels when you touch your eye after jalapeños? James experienced the Thai chili version after peeing, dumbass hahaha), and waterfalls....

You know, I used to love waterfalls, but not so much anymore. The first waterfall we went was gorgeous, of course I instantly go run into it to swim around and play, take a nice video update, then realize my pockets aren't the best in these shorts, so I turn around and head back to the safe zone to drop my camera off with the girls, next thing I know I'm underwater and cameraless....yes, my longtime friend and companion through sooo many stupid stories this trip was taken by a rather small waterfall. I was DEVASTATED, I searched around a bit for it but there was no hope. What are you gonna do right? Move on and get a new one when I could. After a nice ceremony and a farewell salute it was on to lunch. Which instantly made up for it. Our tour guide Wat made us each our own set of chop sticks and pulled out these lil packets of banana leaves. I unwrapped my banana leaf lunchbox to find fried noodles and chicken, still warm. One of the best lunches.

Banana leaves, who woulda thunk it.

Farewell to a trusty sidekick

We were back on the trail and headed for another waterfall, great right? No sarcasm there, this were my favorite falls of the trip! James and I were obviously the first ones in the pool and the girls followed quickly. This was the location for the second memorable beer of the trip. We stayed at the waterfall for awhile and then were back on the road headed for our last stop of the trip and our place to stay.

 

What do you think? March? April? No, You're right...Cover shot.

It was an Elephant Camp where we were supposed to ride elephants the next morning and head back to basecamp via white water rafting. Plans changed. There was an enormous storm during the night, flash flooding, roads washed out, it was nuts. The river was just crazy the next morning and obviously the rafting trip was cancelled, plus we weren't even sure if we could make it out via the roads, which was a Major problem for me since I had a flight to catch that night. So we were stuck at an elephant sanctuary all morning!!! This is where magic happened, the SECOND time I fell in love within 4 days. I met Simone. The best elephant you will ever meet. Just a babe, haha. Our connection was instantaneous. James and I were lining up getting ready to get on her back and go for a ride, when I jokingly asked the guide of I could take the lead, I had "elephant" experience, and he said yes....

 

This lead to James riding shotgun and me on the neck of Simone, running off into the jungle. Simon and I shared some intimate moments, eating fruit out each others mouths, kisses, we had it all. I miss that elephant.



Our First Kiss...



Foreplay? No way, I call this "Trunkplay"

After a few hours of hanging out we were able to head down the mountain and back into Chiangmai. A quick shower and a few sad goodbyes, or "see you laters with the girls", James and I were off to the airport. James heading to Phuket and I was off to......

Tune in next week boys and girls for the exciting conclusion of today's episode.

Ps. Special thanks goes out to James, Becky, and Jo. You guys saved my life with these pictures. Miss you guys TONS

I am a LUCKY Man

Sawadee!

I don't even know where to start this one. In a matter of 14 days I have lost an epic travel companion, gained 7 new friends for life, almost lost my "snake" to a cobra, said a bittersweet farewell to a faithful friend, and lost my heart not just once, but TWICE in Northern Thailand. Its been a wild ride...

As always a quick summary. I left you guys in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. Since then Ive been travelling north through Laos( Vientienne, Vang Vieng, Luang Prabang) and then back over into Northen Thailand, Chiang Mai. I am currently sitting in Stuttgart Germany, a funny story I will touch on later...

So Mica and I left Phnom Penh in the early morning after our farwell to Karen. We embarked on our nonstop journey up into Laos. We minibused and overnighted our way up through the Cambodia\Laos border, through Pakse, and up to Vientiane( the capitol of Laos.) 24 hours of straight travel was worth it. We reached Vientianne in the pouring rain, which weve been experiencing all the way into Laos, but I was getting to the point of checking flights to the coast of Thailand to run from the rain, skip the rest of Laos, and just GET TO THE BEACH. But like always, my intelligent sister persuaded me to to stick with it a bit longer and see how it went.

REASON #1 I am a LUCKY man.

Literally within minutes of hanging up the phone with my sis( ps Mom..excuse the long distance charge from Laos to California, it had to be done) the weather cleared up and the sun was shining. I spent the rest of the day exploring the city. Seeing the Laos versions of the Champs Elysees and the Arc Di Triumph was awesome. To be honest though, neither were ANY comparison to the original, but it was neat to see the french influence in the Capitol.

OOOO Champs Elysees!!!

Vientiane is located right on the Mekong river that creates the border with Thailand, so for the evening I spent sometime just sitting on the bank looking over the river into Thailand, crazy cool. I wasn't aware of it at the time, but the Mekong River and I would be spending A LOT of time together in the next couple days.

For dinner Mica and I tried to take a Tuk Tuk to a bar famous for its sunsets. We got dropped off on a muddy road along the bank and were pointed down the road...shoulda been a hint of what was to come. We ended up being the only white kids at a Korean BBQ house. Quite a strange feeling, BUT an awesome sunset. We were given menus in nothing but Korean at first and were served by a waiter that spoke zero English. Good thing my travel book had how to say " Beer Please" in Lao. We finally made a break through with our waiter and got the English menu. This then lead to the most expense meal I've had on this trip. 4 dishes each, including crocodile( check that off the list) and then arguing about the incorrect bill. Turned out to be a very memorable night. After searching for a tuktuk home, the one time there wasnt a tuktuk when I wanted one, and capturing this GREAT shot for Otter, we headed back to our riverside hotel and I headed out to explore the night market.

Night Market

Keep Walking Otter,  Ill be back soon.

I think Im hooked on bartering for things. I was buying things I didn't need at all just for the fun of price slashing. At the same time I also bought some MUCH needed things....

The BEST Slippers known to mankind

I take my random souvenir shopping as another sign why I am a LUCKY man. I went back to the hotel early( because I ran out of money) and if it wasnt for that I wouldn't have met the girls,Becky, Gemma, and Joanne...I was downstairs when I overheard the girls getting ripped off for a bus ride the next morning up to Vang Vieng. So of course I piped up, I couldnt break the travellers code, any penny counts. I told them they could get the same ride cheaper just around the corner, which happened to be the same bus Mica and I were on the next day. We ended up kicking it a bit after they bought theyre tickets, saying goodnight early and heading up for our early bus ride the next day. And what a ride it was.

This was my first taste of Laos country side and travel and I LOVED it. We drove through floods, were 3 hours late, saw incredible country side. One of the guys on the bus said it best, " There`s too much Beautiful for one country."

We finally got to Vang Vieng well after dark and our mini convoy( that grew from just Mica and I now into 8 after the bus ride) began wandering the streets looking for Spicy Laos. It was a hostel recommended to us by someone in a coffeeshop in Luang Prabang and sounded nice. She mentioned it was "rugged." It was wicked. Living in a giant Bamboo shed with a maze of bunk beds throughout it. Mica was instantly in love with the place, and Im sure I would have been too if it wasnt for the fact I was starting to feel a bit under then weather. Keep in mind I havent really been sick in well over 2 years, so when I had goosebumps in 90 degree weather while everyone else was seweating bullets I didnt have the best feeling for what was ahead. Going to bed in a cold sweat in a bamboo shed probably wasnt the best idea either, but Ill take the rough night and waking up with a 101 temperature the next morning as just another sign as why I am a LUCKY man. Jo, Becky, and Gemma werent totally impressed with Spicy Laos accomodations( the number of spiders ) and given my current state I was more than willing to move to a nicer guesthouse with the girls. We packed up and moved down the road a lil closer to the river.

I should explain what Vang Vieng is all about...TUBING. An all day riverside party at multiple bars along the shore. You start by taking a tuktuk up river and then floating down from bar to bar on big tractor tires. Each bar has kids that through ropes out to tubers to pull them into their bar. An all day event of drinking, sun, whiskey, women, and just an all out goodtime. Ive been REALLY looking forward to this my whole trip, so after popping some pills and getting my temp down to a moderate level I decided to take advantage of the sunny day and join everyone else on the river. See what this tubng experience was all about. UNREAL

Mica STOKED on life

I do admit I did try and take it easy, I didnt want to get wicked sick and miss the next couple days, but I couldnt resist. From the first bar they were pouring bottles of moonshine at you, beerpong, sunshine, then BOOM monsoon. Tubing, free liquor, and dancing in the pouring rain. How could it get any better?

Wait...it can. A GIANT SLIDE.

The best was still yet to come. Tubing back to the village in the monsoon was a blast. Getting back to town jsut after sunset wasnt an ideal situation, but it all worked out in the end. After a quick dinner and a few hours of Friends, yes Friends. All the bars play reruns of Friends and Family Guy ALL DAY everyday. My kind of spot for sure. We were all wiped from tubing so called it an early night.

I woke up feeling alright...or so I thought. I looked down at my foot and it was like this..

Ya..Kept this pic from my Mom for the time being.

A good explanation of my fever and obviously a small infection. With my good judgment I decided to take the day off or partying, start a lil cycle of antiobiotics, and hangout around town for the day. I walked around the city for the afternoon and it was like a ghost town. The city thrives on how drunk the tourists get, so during the day while everyone is upriver partying, NOONE is in town but the locals. I ended up at Namsong Garden rocking beers with the Norwegian man that owned the guesthouse. Just sitting back, watching the day go by and assesing life. I met back up with Mica and the girls for dinner after they got back from tubing and this is where my rough night in Spicy Lao payed off. The girls met 3 MORE English girls that night in the bamboo hut and met up with them again tubing today. So now with the addition of Hannah, Tiffany, and Jasmine we all quickly became one big family. We attempted a night out after dinner, but I was still pretty tired and infected and called it an early night..well tried. I stopped off at Jaidees Bar on the walk home and was stuck there for a bit and came home just in time to witness WWIII, the battle of the Sharpe sisters.

NOTE: Gemma and Joanne are sisters

Not a fight by their standards, but either way I was assured it wouldnt happen again for atleast another 2 weeks. So it looked like I was in the clear. All the girls and I had similar travel plans, heading north and into Thailand, so plans were made for one more EPIC day of tubing then off to Luang Prabang. It all sounded like fun and games until we heard rumors about the 5 hour trip north taking 18 hours due to landslides. These rumors were enough for Mica to leave a day ahead of all of us in fear of missing his flight to Bangkok. So I had to say farewell to my partner in crime since the beginning and now I was stuck with 6 girls all by myself...rough life right?

So off we all went tubing and what a day it was. Bright and sunny ALL day AND the first day in Vang Vieng I actually felt 100%. Tubing couldn't have gone better; rope swings, buckets of whiskey, the giant slide, and a nice 2 hour float down the river to cap it off. Too good to be true.

This should be on the cover of a Movie....

Races..

Look Ma! No Hands!!!

Just Floating Home...

One of the best parts of the day wasn't till we got back to town and I grabbed a snack on the walk home...

BANANA CHOCOLATE PEANUT BUTTER PANCAKE

We all had a quick shower, went for dinner, booked a bus up North for the morning, and called it an early night.

We all met up for breakfast before our ride to Luang Prabang. Wow, did we not know what was in store for us. This ride was a PERFECT example of the "goodtimes" traveling through Laos. With an overpacked Minivan we headed off to tackle mountain passes, landslides, and GORGEOUS views.

Washed out the night before

7 hours and many good memories later we made it to Luang Prabang! We decided to give another Spicy Lao a try, this time it worked out WAY better. With a group of 7 when you check into a dorm you get the ENTIRE dorm room to yourself. Well let me restate this, I as the one guy got a small section around my bed, while the girls got the entire dorm. It was like a bomb went off of clothes and bags the second we walked in. I began to realize that traveling with all girls would be a little different than with Mica...speaking of Mica, he was still in Luang Prabang for another night. So we all had a mini-reunion and headed for the night market for a bit, cane home, watched a movie and said our goodbyes again. The girls and I headed to bed in preparation for our waterfall exploring the next morning. We hired a minibus and headed to Koung Si waterfalls with hopes of swimming areas and crystal blue waters. Instead, we were given flooded trails, muddy waters, CRAZY river currents, and spicy lunch. Think that stopped us from having a good day? No chance.

After the waterfalls we all came back to the hostel and made plans to head to Chiangmai the following morning. The decision between a 19 hour bus ride without reclining seats, a speed boat, or a "slow" boat up to the border had to be made. We were all bussed out so that option was out. The speed was a 6 hour nonstop ride on a race boat with a supplied helmet and life jacket crouched into a ball hanging in for dear life...so that is obviously out. That left us with the slow boat. A 2 day, 1 night trip up the Mekong River stopping halfway in Pak Beng. Sounds nice and relaxing right? Good views, good company, space to walk around, all sounded perfect...too perfect. All the "horror" stories of traveling in Laos did not prepare us for this...The slow boat meant slooooooww. We should have taken it as a sign when our boat broke down in the first 20 minutes after leaving 45 min late, but we were already booked in. We transferred boats and continued on. The views were INCREDIBLE. I've never seen a landscape like that before in my life.

But back to reality. The delay of the late departure and boat issues caused us to be so far behind schedule that we didn't make it to Pak Beng, our overnight stop, before it got dark. So instead our Captain casually pulled the boat to the shore, tied us up and started settling in for night. It was quite a shock. The girls weren't really too keen on spending the night on the hardwood floor, I thought it was funny, but MY main concern, which I found a common ground with Hannah on was FOOD. I have never seen a girl get SO serious about food so fast! It was awesome. All I remember was, " Ty, if we dont get food...they're going to have issues." In the best English accent I've ever heard! Becky was the saviour with Mars bars, and the captains wife ended up cooking dinner in the back for all of us. Things were starting to look up. We rigged up a couple mosquito nets, all snuggled up and settled in for a goodnights sleep. Youd think sleeping in the middle of 6 girks would be a dream right? But between Tiffs "sighs" to get comfortable and Jas' "ARE YOU GOING TO THE LOO?" you could imagine the sleep I got. Right around 5 am we were all rudely woken to the sounds of the ferry motor starting up. This impromptu "campout" on the river turned into one of the most memorable nights of my trip.

With a great rest behind us we started our second day of 10 hours on the boat. We all napped for a good couple hours then filled the rest of the day with Rummy tournaments and shithead( a great card game.) We made it up to Houxyai, the Lao border town with no issues and some great views.

Just me and the Mekong, No Big D.

We checked into a decent hostel with one of the funniest old ladies that Ive met on this trip. After dinner I was once again reminded that I was travelling with 6 girls as the evening plans turned into haircuts and girl talk....awesome.

We got up the next morning and headed out early for our "ferry" over to Thailand and had a nice uneventful ride, for once, into Chiang Mai. Ahh...Chiang Mai, the city I left my heart in...TWICE. It was love at first sight when we walked into Namkong Guesthouse and I set eyes on  Noo. She was the manager at the place and the sweetest and nicest lady ever. Gave us room discounts, free A/C, hand drawn maps with all the best spots, hooked us up with a great jungle trek, and even called me Tyguy...too cool. Our first night in Chiang Mai the girls and I headed out for a nice dinner along the river. Great spot, good food, and even better company. A great start to the night. After dinner we headed over to a jungle bar with the Flinstones as the house band and ended up racing tuktuks to the nearest Karaoke parlor. Which we soon found out was just a front for a...how do I say this? Whorehouse? Ya, thatll work. I think we were the only people who ever actually requested a song there and ROCKED OUT. We all sang a couple, but there was one standout act....Tiff. She showed a side I dont think anyone had scene before. Give that girl a few and she is a Rockstar!  Capped off the night with a songthaew home among "rabid" dogs and passed right out. The next day in Chiang Mai was a HUGE turning point in the trip. The arrival of James. James is a friend of Hannah and Jas's that came to meet up with them. This guy and I were on the same page from the first second, street beers, street food, and sexy pants. Yes, all in ONE DAY. Quite a casual day and night, we had to be up EARLY for our 3 day 2 night jungle trek.

While starting this blog I planned on including all the way up to where I was now...but seeing how LONG this part has been and the fact that the Jungle Trek deserves a blog in itself....I will leave you all here for now. Much love,

Ciao

Tyler